( text ) Karkat: Turn stupid joke into game canon

[yourgoddamnit]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board THE DISCO HELL --

CG: I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR ALL THE HOSTAGE VICTIMS ACROSS THIS NOT SO GLORIOUS LAND.
CG: THE MONSTER ISN'T AN INDESTRUCTIBLE AND FRANKLY TERRIFYING FORCE FROM A UNIVERSE I'M FAMILIAR WITH.
CG: WELL IT CAUSED COLOSSAL DESTRUCTION TO MY UNIVERSE TOO BUT THAT'S A LONG STORY.
CG: IT'S JUST A NORMAL VICIOUS MONSTER.
CG: THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE STILL FUCKED BECAUSE IT IS ONE TOUGH BEAST.
CG: ON THAT SUBJECT
CG: IN A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION
CG: WHERE MIGHT I FIND BANDAGES/STITCHES/MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND SHELTER WITHOUT BEING SEEN BY A SINGLE SOUL?
CG: IF I HYPOTHETICALLY HAD TO BE SEEN I WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY RATHER BLEED TO DEATH AND WAIT TO COME BACK.
CG: I ALSO HYPOTHETICALLY ACQUIRED A TALKING FLIPPERBEAST.
CG: WAIT THAT'S A LIE THAT'S NOT HYPOTHETICAL AT ALL.
CG: I FOUND A FUCKING TALKING PENGUIN.
CG: IT KEEPS A SAYING "DOOD."
CG: HE'S ANNOYING AS ALL HELL BUT HE IS MINE. I HAVE NAMED HIM BENFROMLOST. I'M NOT SURE WHY.
CG: I DON'T HAVE PSYCHIC COMMUNING SKILLS AND YET I FEEL AS THOUGH THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
CG: SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE HAS JUST OCCURRED.
CG: I'M BOTH ENRAGED AND CONTENT.
CG: THIS IS A STRANGE MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS.
CG: I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO GIVE ADVICE ON MY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION BEFORE I HYPOTHETICALLY DIE AND HYPOTHETICALLY HAVE TO GO ON A QUEST TO RETRIEVE BENFROMLOST AFTER MY REVIVAL.
CG: OR WORSE, CREATE A PARADOX TIME LINE IN WHICH I'M ALIVE, THEREBY CREATING ANOTHER ME.
CG: NO ONE WANTS THAT. NO ONE. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

Comments

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

I told you to stay inside! Where are you?!

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

...If all you required was a map, it would have been easy to ask. [you know, be blunt, like Japan is never.]

Perhaps if you gave me your location, I could help you to the hospital.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Such hikkikomori tendencies are a bit familiar... The hospital is where you will find any materials necessary. It is on Marshall street... Rather close if you were attacked where I mentioned earlier.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Considering the rate of attacks lately, rather high.

[...he sympathizes with hikkikomori tendencies]

If anonymity is required, perhaps I could leave you some supplies somewhere.

[loyal_cube]

[Okay, his head kinda hurts]

I don't think you'd be able to find supplies without being seen, at least, not easily.

Are you injured?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[loyal_cube]

Blood isn't abnormal here. Just how much blood is it? How badly are you bleeding?

I can bring some bandages but you'll have to let me see you to do it.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - been reading homestuck all day. I couldn't resist.

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

You go to the hospital.

Unless you're injured to the point of being unable to move, well then you're on your own with that.

Have fun.

Text - awwww yeah more Homestuck fans o/

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - I'm so glad I was converted you have no idea. D:

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

You could always look at a damn map maybe.

Suck it up, if you're texting this much you're not as hurt as you claim to be. Start crawling.

Text - MY REACTION EXACTLY.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - <3

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

I was here for a day and was able to get a map. You're really incompetent for you to be down already.

I don't feel sorry for you. In fact, I think this amuses me on some level.

If the monsters follow then you'd better hope you have energy enough to fight them off, sounds to me like you're dead where you're laying.

Text - <33333333

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - and I am making a Slick Spades account as we speak. ^^;;;

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

Well now you're hardly making sense.

I answered your question about where the items you wanted were. It's your own damn fault for not thinking of that fact that in the end, you'd be the one looking for said items you asked for.

Sounds to me like you just rushed into danger without so much as a plan either.

How stupid can you get?

Text 2/2 ><

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

Also, even though you can be revived from death.

It would be better to try and avoid dying at all to the best of your ability.

[dustedsunlight.livejournal.com]

You're hurt? The hospital would help you, though... do you know how to get there?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[dustedsunlight.livejournal.com]

Er, it looks like a penguin? I think.

Do you know how to bandage yourself?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[dustedsunlight.livejournal.com]

Well sometimes people... not really forget, just-- nevermind.

... Do you really grow from grubs?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]