( text ) Karkat: Turn stupid joke into game canon

[yourgoddamnit]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board THE DISCO HELL --

CG: I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR ALL THE HOSTAGE VICTIMS ACROSS THIS NOT SO GLORIOUS LAND.
CG: THE MONSTER ISN'T AN INDESTRUCTIBLE AND FRANKLY TERRIFYING FORCE FROM A UNIVERSE I'M FAMILIAR WITH.
CG: WELL IT CAUSED COLOSSAL DESTRUCTION TO MY UNIVERSE TOO BUT THAT'S A LONG STORY.
CG: IT'S JUST A NORMAL VICIOUS MONSTER.
CG: THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE STILL FUCKED BECAUSE IT IS ONE TOUGH BEAST.
CG: ON THAT SUBJECT
CG: IN A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION
CG: WHERE MIGHT I FIND BANDAGES/STITCHES/MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND SHELTER WITHOUT BEING SEEN BY A SINGLE SOUL?
CG: IF I HYPOTHETICALLY HAD TO BE SEEN I WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY RATHER BLEED TO DEATH AND WAIT TO COME BACK.
CG: I ALSO HYPOTHETICALLY ACQUIRED A TALKING FLIPPERBEAST.
CG: WAIT THAT'S A LIE THAT'S NOT HYPOTHETICAL AT ALL.
CG: I FOUND A FUCKING TALKING PENGUIN.
CG: IT KEEPS A SAYING "DOOD."
CG: HE'S ANNOYING AS ALL HELL BUT HE IS MINE. I HAVE NAMED HIM BENFROMLOST. I'M NOT SURE WHY.
CG: I DON'T HAVE PSYCHIC COMMUNING SKILLS AND YET I FEEL AS THOUGH THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
CG: SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE HAS JUST OCCURRED.
CG: I'M BOTH ENRAGED AND CONTENT.
CG: THIS IS A STRANGE MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS.
CG: I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO GIVE ADVICE ON MY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION BEFORE I HYPOTHETICALLY DIE AND HYPOTHETICALLY HAVE TO GO ON A QUEST TO RETRIEVE BENFROMLOST AFTER MY REVIVAL.
CG: OR WORSE, CREATE A PARADOX TIME LINE IN WHICH I'M ALIVE, THEREBY CREATING ANOTHER ME.
CG: NO ONE WANTS THAT. NO ONE. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

Comments

THAT IS NOT A MOVIE. and yet he is curious...

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

LMFAO

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

B-benfromlost-san? [horrible I tell you]

Benfromlost-san! Are you certain this will work? If you do not wish for me to look, I can assure I am honorable enough to close my eyes, but ah....

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ YOUR CALLING HAS SUMMONED THE PRINNY. All I know is that Prinnies like Hurley and thought the ending of the series was BS. I will research them further at a later date. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[wow. Japan eyes the prinny. is this. really going to work.

passes the first aid kit over.]

Ah, he is here... I handed the kit to him, so please be sure he comes back. [WATCHES THE PRINNY]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ The Prinny is now trying to chat up Japan with whatever Prinnies who like Lost talk about. Probably something about that fucking island.

Meanwhile, Karkat is raging at Benfromlost's incompetence and slicing at Heartless inside one of the convenience stores.

You may distantly hear his furious efforts. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

...Benfromlost, please take this to CG-san!!

[silly little pet, your respect is dropped!! urging the Prinny towards the noise he faintly hears LMFAO nudge nudge push]

CG-san? Are you still there? Are you alright?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ DON'T NUDGE TOO HARD OR HE'LL EXPLODE!!!!

But at least he seems to be waddling in the right direction. Meanwhile, on Japan's communicator: ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[LIGHT NUDGING LIGHT NUDGING GOSH... watching him now.. and walking just a little with him...]

Is there further danger?! Is there any way I can help?!

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

I can hear fighting, you realize! Ahhh, why must you hide so stubbornly? As a former hikkikomori, I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with meeting others..

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Why is there an issue with seeing your blood? [just, stopping where he is now]

Ahhh, the kit is rather close, so please receive it!

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Benfromlost disappears into the building, so Karkat's reply is a bit delayed. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

N-needle!?

[LMFAO YOU ARE SO CONFUSING, KID]

Ahhh, I will respect your privacy for now, but if you take too long to respond, I will assume the worst and attempt to help.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Is that so.

[translation: WANNA BET.]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ translation: BITCH BACK THE FUCK OFF. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

I see.

[translation: never]

Has Benfromlost arrived?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

...CG-san should locate an apartment. Once there, you can choose a room..

Ah... are you alright, now?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

If you would just meet with me, I could show you.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

... [country... just say country... sigh]

I am not sure what to expect.

1/3

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ YOU ARE ALL THE SAME TO HIM. You're a cluster of human society, so you're basically just a human with abnormal longevity.

Also I may as well take this moment to do a proper action tag Homestuck style. ]