( text ) Karkat: Turn stupid joke into game canon

[yourgoddamnit]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board THE DISCO HELL --

CG: I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR ALL THE HOSTAGE VICTIMS ACROSS THIS NOT SO GLORIOUS LAND.
CG: THE MONSTER ISN'T AN INDESTRUCTIBLE AND FRANKLY TERRIFYING FORCE FROM A UNIVERSE I'M FAMILIAR WITH.
CG: WELL IT CAUSED COLOSSAL DESTRUCTION TO MY UNIVERSE TOO BUT THAT'S A LONG STORY.
CG: IT'S JUST A NORMAL VICIOUS MONSTER.
CG: THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE STILL FUCKED BECAUSE IT IS ONE TOUGH BEAST.
CG: ON THAT SUBJECT
CG: IN A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION
CG: WHERE MIGHT I FIND BANDAGES/STITCHES/MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND SHELTER WITHOUT BEING SEEN BY A SINGLE SOUL?
CG: IF I HYPOTHETICALLY HAD TO BE SEEN I WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY RATHER BLEED TO DEATH AND WAIT TO COME BACK.
CG: I ALSO HYPOTHETICALLY ACQUIRED A TALKING FLIPPERBEAST.
CG: WAIT THAT'S A LIE THAT'S NOT HYPOTHETICAL AT ALL.
CG: I FOUND A FUCKING TALKING PENGUIN.
CG: IT KEEPS A SAYING "DOOD."
CG: HE'S ANNOYING AS ALL HELL BUT HE IS MINE. I HAVE NAMED HIM BENFROMLOST. I'M NOT SURE WHY.
CG: I DON'T HAVE PSYCHIC COMMUNING SKILLS AND YET I FEEL AS THOUGH THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
CG: SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE HAS JUST OCCURRED.
CG: I'M BOTH ENRAGED AND CONTENT.
CG: THIS IS A STRANGE MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS.
CG: I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO GIVE ADVICE ON MY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION BEFORE I HYPOTHETICALLY DIE AND HYPOTHETICALLY HAVE TO GO ON A QUEST TO RETRIEVE BENFROMLOST AFTER MY REVIVAL.
CG: OR WORSE, CREATE A PARADOX TIME LINE IN WHICH I'M ALIVE, THEREBY CREATING ANOTHER ME.
CG: NO ONE WANTS THAT. NO ONE. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

Comments

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

...If all you required was a map, it would have been easy to ask. [you know, be blunt, like Japan is never.]

Perhaps if you gave me your location, I could help you to the hospital.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Such hikkikomori tendencies are a bit familiar... The hospital is where you will find any materials necessary. It is on Marshall street... Rather close if you were attacked where I mentioned earlier.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Considering the rate of attacks lately, rather high.

[...he sympathizes with hikkikomori tendencies]

If anonymity is required, perhaps I could leave you some supplies somewhere.

wow you didn't see that

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ when you get to this part YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY HE MUST BE ANON AT THIS TIME!!!! ...that and yeah. lives on a meteor with only 11 others. ]

CANNOT. UNSEE.

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Please give me a vague location, at least, so you do not have to travel far.

[making an injured man go out again WOW but anyway. he's taking the first aid kit from the nordic place, good enough!!!!!]

...shit I can't either. WHAT HAVE I DONE.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ IT'S TO SAVE A TROLL FROM BLEEDING TO DEATH. THAT'S A GOOD CAUSE. ]

LMFAO why did you have to bring benfromlost into this

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[and I don't even understand that joke. BUT YES JAPAN WILL SAVE YOU TROLLMAN.]

Ah, very well. I will head there now. [TURNS ON VIDEO idk if that helps. still bandaged awww yeahhh.]

...I certainly hope you will take any future warnings more seriously.

Benfromlost is now a universal constant

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ it is a glory resulting from IC mafia.

AND KARKAT IS TEXT FOREVER. ESPECIALLY NOW. ]

sobbing

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[Japan expects this text replying. He just frowns. And after a long pause:]

Ah.... I should have brought some tea, as well. Though I suppose there is not much time for something like that. It is quite soothing, however. Perhaps next time.

there is no escape. none. you are in karkat hell. population: karkat, karkat, and america.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

SCREAAAAAAAAA--

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Surely it is normal to wish for others to be in comfort?

[slowing his steps and pointing the camera down the road.]

Ah... anywhere near here?

THERE IS NO WINNING THERE IS ONLY KARKAT HELL.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

karkat just needs a hug

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[He keeps moving...]

...I do not see how.. [huff not creepy]

Ah, but... yellow eyes? Please avoid those.. I believe they attack your chest.

there are many things Karkat needs and that is not one of them.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

............ROMANCE? Japan could draw him some...

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Ah... [right well. looking for a prinny.]

I will stay nearby just in case, afterwards... [holding first aid kit and looking for benfromlost


sob]

THAT IS NOT A MOVIE. and yet he is curious...

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

LMFAO

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

B-benfromlost-san? [horrible I tell you]

Benfromlost-san! Are you certain this will work? If you do not wish for me to look, I can assure I am honorable enough to close my eyes, but ah....

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ YOUR CALLING HAS SUMMONED THE PRINNY. All I know is that Prinnies like Hurley and thought the ending of the series was BS. I will research them further at a later date. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[wow. Japan eyes the prinny. is this. really going to work.

passes the first aid kit over.]

Ah, he is here... I handed the kit to him, so please be sure he comes back. [WATCHES THE PRINNY]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ The Prinny is now trying to chat up Japan with whatever Prinnies who like Lost talk about. Probably something about that fucking island.

Meanwhile, Karkat is raging at Benfromlost's incompetence and slicing at Heartless inside one of the convenience stores.

You may distantly hear his furious efforts. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

...Benfromlost, please take this to CG-san!!

[silly little pet, your respect is dropped!! urging the Prinny towards the noise he faintly hears LMFAO nudge nudge push]

CG-san? Are you still there? Are you alright?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ DON'T NUDGE TOO HARD OR HE'LL EXPLODE!!!!

But at least he seems to be waddling in the right direction. Meanwhile, on Japan's communicator: ]