( text ) Karkat: Turn stupid joke into game canon

[yourgoddamnit]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board THE DISCO HELL --

CG: I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR ALL THE HOSTAGE VICTIMS ACROSS THIS NOT SO GLORIOUS LAND.
CG: THE MONSTER ISN'T AN INDESTRUCTIBLE AND FRANKLY TERRIFYING FORCE FROM A UNIVERSE I'M FAMILIAR WITH.
CG: WELL IT CAUSED COLOSSAL DESTRUCTION TO MY UNIVERSE TOO BUT THAT'S A LONG STORY.
CG: IT'S JUST A NORMAL VICIOUS MONSTER.
CG: THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE STILL FUCKED BECAUSE IT IS ONE TOUGH BEAST.
CG: ON THAT SUBJECT
CG: IN A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION
CG: WHERE MIGHT I FIND BANDAGES/STITCHES/MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND SHELTER WITHOUT BEING SEEN BY A SINGLE SOUL?
CG: IF I HYPOTHETICALLY HAD TO BE SEEN I WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY RATHER BLEED TO DEATH AND WAIT TO COME BACK.
CG: I ALSO HYPOTHETICALLY ACQUIRED A TALKING FLIPPERBEAST.
CG: WAIT THAT'S A LIE THAT'S NOT HYPOTHETICAL AT ALL.
CG: I FOUND A FUCKING TALKING PENGUIN.
CG: IT KEEPS A SAYING "DOOD."
CG: HE'S ANNOYING AS ALL HELL BUT HE IS MINE. I HAVE NAMED HIM BENFROMLOST. I'M NOT SURE WHY.
CG: I DON'T HAVE PSYCHIC COMMUNING SKILLS AND YET I FEEL AS THOUGH THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
CG: SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE HAS JUST OCCURRED.
CG: I'M BOTH ENRAGED AND CONTENT.
CG: THIS IS A STRANGE MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS.
CG: I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO GIVE ADVICE ON MY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION BEFORE I HYPOTHETICALLY DIE AND HYPOTHETICALLY HAVE TO GO ON A QUEST TO RETRIEVE BENFROMLOST AFTER MY REVIVAL.
CG: OR WORSE, CREATE A PARADOX TIME LINE IN WHICH I'M ALIVE, THEREBY CREATING ANOTHER ME.
CG: NO ONE WANTS THAT. NO ONE. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

Comments

Text - been reading homestuck all day. I couldn't resist.

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

You go to the hospital.

Unless you're injured to the point of being unable to move, well then you're on your own with that.

Have fun.

Text - awwww yeah more Homestuck fans o/

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - I'm so glad I was converted you have no idea. D:

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

You could always look at a damn map maybe.

Suck it up, if you're texting this much you're not as hurt as you claim to be. Start crawling.

Text - MY REACTION EXACTLY.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - <3

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

I was here for a day and was able to get a map. You're really incompetent for you to be down already.

I don't feel sorry for you. In fact, I think this amuses me on some level.

If the monsters follow then you'd better hope you have energy enough to fight them off, sounds to me like you're dead where you're laying.

Text - <33333333

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - and I am making a Slick Spades account as we speak. ^^;;;

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

Well now you're hardly making sense.

I answered your question about where the items you wanted were. It's your own damn fault for not thinking of that fact that in the end, you'd be the one looking for said items you asked for.

Sounds to me like you just rushed into danger without so much as a plan either.

How stupid can you get?

Text 2/2 ><

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

Also, even though you can be revived from death.

It would be better to try and avoid dying at all to the best of your ability.

Text - DJSAKL;RAWE YEAHHHH SPADES SLICK *w*

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - fuck yeah~

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

Oh you don't have to do such a thing. After all I'm just a stranger, we likely won't talk ever again. Though I'm 'Flattered' you'd do so.

And I've had my amusement for the day.

Have fun doing whatever it is your doing.

Text - awww yeahhh guy who looks like stabby friend

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - Jack doesn't love you Karkat! D:

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

[He's actually kind of laughing at you from behind the screen.]

Goodbye.