( text ) Karkat: Turn stupid joke into game canon

[yourgoddamnit]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board THE DISCO HELL --

CG: I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR ALL THE HOSTAGE VICTIMS ACROSS THIS NOT SO GLORIOUS LAND.
CG: THE MONSTER ISN'T AN INDESTRUCTIBLE AND FRANKLY TERRIFYING FORCE FROM A UNIVERSE I'M FAMILIAR WITH.
CG: WELL IT CAUSED COLOSSAL DESTRUCTION TO MY UNIVERSE TOO BUT THAT'S A LONG STORY.
CG: IT'S JUST A NORMAL VICIOUS MONSTER.
CG: THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE STILL FUCKED BECAUSE IT IS ONE TOUGH BEAST.
CG: ON THAT SUBJECT
CG: IN A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION
CG: WHERE MIGHT I FIND BANDAGES/STITCHES/MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND SHELTER WITHOUT BEING SEEN BY A SINGLE SOUL?
CG: IF I HYPOTHETICALLY HAD TO BE SEEN I WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY RATHER BLEED TO DEATH AND WAIT TO COME BACK.
CG: I ALSO HYPOTHETICALLY ACQUIRED A TALKING FLIPPERBEAST.
CG: WAIT THAT'S A LIE THAT'S NOT HYPOTHETICAL AT ALL.
CG: I FOUND A FUCKING TALKING PENGUIN.
CG: IT KEEPS A SAYING "DOOD."
CG: HE'S ANNOYING AS ALL HELL BUT HE IS MINE. I HAVE NAMED HIM BENFROMLOST. I'M NOT SURE WHY.
CG: I DON'T HAVE PSYCHIC COMMUNING SKILLS AND YET I FEEL AS THOUGH THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
CG: SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE HAS JUST OCCURRED.
CG: I'M BOTH ENRAGED AND CONTENT.
CG: THIS IS A STRANGE MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS.
CG: I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO GIVE ADVICE ON MY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION BEFORE I HYPOTHETICALLY DIE AND HYPOTHETICALLY HAVE TO GO ON A QUEST TO RETRIEVE BENFROMLOST AFTER MY REVIVAL.
CG: OR WORSE, CREATE A PARADOX TIME LINE IN WHICH I'M ALIVE, THEREBY CREATING ANOTHER ME.
CG: NO ONE WANTS THAT. NO ONE. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

Comments

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

At this point you don't even care if your appearance scares him off. Though, in all likelyhood, Japan isn't likely to scream in horror at the sight of a pubescent troll kid with candy corn-looking horns.

You stare at Country Japan. You have no idea what the fuck he's talking about with the country business, he looks like a regular human. Actually his eyes are a different shape than the other humans Karkat has encountered. Maybe that's the distinguishing feature.

Your voice is likely a raspy thing with a constant undercurrent of orneriness. This is a rough estimate from that whole "Having a Baby and the Baby is You" opera.

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[wow it's country Japan not douchebag Japan. WHO'S THE DOUCHEBAG?? REALLY???

Anyway Japan just stares. What.





oh. ...if you keep staring...

he's kind of cute.]

Ah, hello. [even little grey kids get a bow for a greeting. it's rude to ask if someone's horns are candy corn, right...? he just glances in another direction.]

It is not too far, so surely we can find you a room and you will be able to rest soon.

Text - awwww yeah more Homestuck fans o/

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - I'm so glad I was converted you have no idea. D:

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

You could always look at a damn map maybe.

Suck it up, if you're texting this much you're not as hurt as you claim to be. Start crawling.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Okay back to this I'm lazy. AND DOUCHEBAG IS PRACTICALLY ANOTHER TERM FOR "FELLOW" IN HIS LANGUAGE. Or something. You'll see.

Karkat, meanwhile, is limping in barely-contained agony and paranoia that he's going to start bleeding through the bandages soon. ]



[ HE'S TRYING REALLY HARD NOT TO STARE but jeeze this is the first time he's meeting a human-like creature face to face. At least he's not Terezi. Then Japan would have to deal with sniffing and licking. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[LOL is it like sir. how kind. anyway Japan is trying so hard not to stare back, so it's not really noticed.]

Are you able to walk well enough? It is this way.

[gesturing with a hand]

It will be safe to live in and free from most attacks. Ah, and considering the rest of the city, it is the best place to stay. I will simply take you to the closest one...

Text - MY REACTION EXACTLY.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - <3

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

I was here for a day and was able to get a map. You're really incompetent for you to be down already.

I don't feel sorry for you. In fact, I think this amuses me on some level.

If the monsters follow then you'd better hope you have energy enough to fight them off, sounds to me like you're dead where you're laying.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ He winces, but doesn't complain to much. He's so used to getting stabbed he can't even bother whimpering. Still, even for a troll, he looks to be in bad shape. Paler than his normal grey and shaking slightly from the effort to keep walking/not pass out. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[staring at while frowning. considering just picking him up without asking, but. that is way too forward.]

I-indeed... There are some stores that are restocked by the scientists periodically, and some monsters are edible, as well. Water works in some of the apartments, at least...

[pause]

Ah... are you certain you can walk the entire way?

[I think for Japan helping other people is like therapy for himself or something, he's still bandaged up himself...]

Text - <33333333

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - and I am making a Slick Spades account as we speak. ^^;;;

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

Well now you're hardly making sense.

I answered your question about where the items you wanted were. It's your own damn fault for not thinking of that fact that in the end, you'd be the one looking for said items you asked for.

Sounds to me like you just rushed into danger without so much as a plan either.

How stupid can you get?

Text 2/2 ><

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

Also, even though you can be revived from death.

It would be better to try and avoid dying at all to the best of your ability.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat would probably freak out :( Meanwhile he just grunts noncommittally at the information. When Japan asks, Karkat manages to shoot him a glare. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

...If you insist.

[wow pass out and you are getting so much nagging later.]

Text - DJSAKL;RAWE YEAHHHH SPADES SLICK *w*

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - fuck yeah~

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

Oh you don't have to do such a thing. After all I'm just a stranger, we likely won't talk ever again. Though I'm 'Flattered' you'd do so.

And I've had my amusement for the day.

Have fun doing whatever it is your doing.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ HE CAN MANAGE!!! at least until he's inside. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

...

Does CG-san prefer any sort of food?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ He chuckles a bit at the use of his tag-name in a real life situation, but he doesn't smile. Karkat doesn't smile. I think it's physically impossible for him. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[WELL JAPAN IS NOT SURE WHAT HIS REAL NAME he should probably ask. eventually. he just gives him a glance at that.]

I was going to offer preparing something before I left.

Text - awww yeahhh guy who looks like stabby friend

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

Text - Jack doesn't love you Karkat! D:

[whiterose-mizer.livejournal.com]

[He's actually kind of laughing at you from behind the screen.]

Goodbye.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ I honestly have no ideas what the fuck trolls eat, except for Gamzee and Nepeta because they're weird. But anyway, have a suspicious stare. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[casual fixing of his hair]

Ah, I do this quite often for those I know.