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yourgoddamnit
yourgoddamnit
05 February 2011 @ 12:04 am
( video ) Karkat: Survive crash of Oceanic Flight 815 with Eridan.  
[ Here ends Karkat's reign of purely text posts. It's all for a good cause, I assure you.

It's dark. They are outside in an undisclosed location. It might be hard to tell in the lighting, but he looks sicky sick sick: sweating, flushed (FLUSHED CANDY COUGH SYRUP RED SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS THE SECRET IS OUT), and paler than normal grubby pale. Eridan, behind him, isn't in any better shape. They have fallen off the blood loss & infection deep end and now find themselves drowning in an ocean of medically inaccurate delirium. I would get creative with trolly sickness but they have their chips in so I'm allowed to be lazy. This is not the point.

The point is that now you are gazing into the face of your God. He has important news. ]

ATTENTION HUMAN GRUBFUCKS: YOUR DAYS OF CONFUSED FLAILING HAS COME TO AN END. NO LONGER WILL YOU QUESTION THE MEANINGS OF YOUR LIVES, FOR THEY ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL TO THE QUESTIONS THAT WILL SOON ARISE

FOR WE HAVE FOUND

THE ISLAND OF LOST.

benfromlost wwas right all along and wwe just thought he wwas a dumb flipperbeast
 
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[identity profile] makeupkind.livejournal.com on February 6th, 2011 06:53 am (UTC)
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Meanwhile, you begin to lift Eridan by the shoulders. Because there was no chance in hell Sollux was going to do that.

Man, sometimes you are just so good that you scare yourself.
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[identity profile] yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on February 6th, 2011 07:19 am (UTC)
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You grapple for your companion with what remains of your strength. All other thoughts have abandoned you. For some reason, you are slightly depressed that Sawyer and Kate have been kidnapped and that you'll never be as attractive as Boone. Yes. That is a legitimate thing to be depressed about. I just looked at his picture and he's a very attractive man.

You manage to find his cold, clammy hand and squeeze it.

Future you will vomit with disgust at this horrendous display, but you are not Future Karkat, you are Past Karkat, and past Karkat is too sick to do anything but be a tool for whatever shenanigans I please.

Finally, it is your chance to reenact one of your favorite scenes from one of your movies. It is by far superior to any of John's stupid displays of Con Air because the depth and emotion that go into this moment are far more captivating and meaningful than any human can possibly comprehend.

You look deep into Eri's eyes...

...or you would if your eyes could focus straight. You are likely staring at his gills. Close enough.

Who is ready for the most beautiful moment the Land of Stupidity and Coconuts has ever witnessed.

Who is ready.

WHO IS READY???????





You are now Current Karkat. You've passed out cold after your stunning display, still holding onto Eridan. If only you were coherent and conscious, you would chew your own arm off and feed it to BenfromLost. But you aren't. You're currently being handled roughly by the cat girl.

Oh my god when did Troll Michelle Pfiffer get here?!



You manage to crack your eyes open, but you can't really manage much more than that. Thinking isn't even an option at this point.

You are simply...

Lost.

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[identity profile] lonelyglub.livejournal.com on February 6th, 2011 01:28 pm (UTC)
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Edited 2011-02-06 01:28 pm (UTC)
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[identity profile] freeglub.livejournal.com on February 6th, 2011 03:26 pm (UTC)
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Edited 2011-02-06 03:27 pm (UTC)
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Sollux Captor[personal profile] biwinning on February 6th, 2011 04:02 pm (UTC)
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Sollux: Help Nepeta.

Because Kanaya West knows that there's no way in hell you'd touch Eridan. She knows you so well that it's almost scary. Maybe you should talk to her more after this.

You awkwardly pick up Karkat's lower half and feel the desire to throw him down a flight of stairs to balance out that awkward dragging thing Nepeta is doing with your shared "leader."

ii don't know.
take them two the hiive?
unle22 you mean after that.
iit'2 not liike the doctor2 here know about troll dii2ea2e2.
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[identity profile] adorabloodiest.livejournal.com on February 6th, 2011 09:27 pm (UTC)
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You also make note to update your shipping wall. Again. What a shippy day this has been!
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[identity profile] makeupkind.livejournal.com on February 6th, 2011 10:50 pm (UTC)
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Karkat and Eridan look much worse off in person than they did over the communicators. They'll probably be fine, though. It is just as you read in one of your favorite novels:
Now that that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now
'Cause I can't wait much longer
            ~Troll Anne Rice
As long as they don't die, the experience will likely teach them something.

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[identity profile] yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on February 6th, 2011 11:04 pm (UTC)
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You kick weakly at Sollux Hurley, which is actually little more than a nudge of your foot.



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[identity profile] lonelyglub.livejournal.com on February 6th, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC)
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[identity profile] freeglub.livejournal.com on February 7th, 2011 12:15 am (UTC)
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Sollux Captor[personal profile] biwinning on February 7th, 2011 02:03 am (UTC)
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Sollux: Be pissed off you aren't Boone.

Why Hurley? Boone was much cooler and a much more relatable character to your own personal struggles. You don't even look like Hurley. Hurley wasn't cool. Maybe that was the point they were trying to make in their delusional haze.

Sollux: Decide to beat the sick trolls with a "coconut."

What? No, you're not barbaric. You'll just put viruses on their communicators at a later date instead. That's much more mature. In the mean time, you tighten your grip on Karkat so he stops moving around/attempting to kick you. You tell them both that the white beast is dead and you killed it with your super cool eye lasers that you don't actually have at the moment. You mostly just want to pretend you have your powers again.

But there isn't much time for dawdling anymore. Your group needs to shake a leg. Time to mussel.

You're very glad you didn't say that pun out loud, because it sounds very stupid.
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[identity profile] adorabloodiest.livejournal.com on February 7th, 2011 03:28 am (UTC)
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[identity profile] makeupkind.livejournal.com on February 7th, 2011 03:56 am (UTC)
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[identity profile] yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on February 7th, 2011 04:04 am (UTC)
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Sorry about this, but it needs to be said.



You are not allowed to be Boone because John is now Boone. This may make no sense, but since when has any part of this fiasco made any sense.



You are about to, but before you do, you reach up to scratch under your shirt.

An abscess is broken. This is gross. No one wants to look under your shirt to see how the rest of the wound looks.
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[identity profile] lonelyglub.livejournal.com on February 7th, 2011 04:16 am (UTC)
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Edited 2011-02-07 04:18 am (UTC)
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[identity profile] freeglub.livejournal.com on February 7th, 2011 04:23 am (UTC)
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Edited 2011-02-07 04:23 am (UTC)
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Sollux Captor: Almost Gendo pose.[personal profile] biwinning on February 7th, 2011 04:42 am (UTC)
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Jean: Forgive Jenna and remember to use bold tags this time.

Why the fuck did you forget them to begin with.

Sollux: Level up?

Sure, why not. You've now climbed the echeladder of Rescuing yet another rung. You're actually pretty high up on that particularly ladder, considering the amount of experience you gained after dying in an attempt to save Feferi. Not that it particularly matters, because you're too busy being somewhat distracted by Karkat's candyass colored blood that no one else has seemed to notice, as you drop him on the couch back at your shared hive.

And don't think you're not still pissed off you're not Boone. You never get to be Boone. You develop a subconscious and even further dislike of John because of this. It is purely platonic though. Humans are disgusting.
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[identity profile] adorabloodiest.livejournal.com on February 7th, 2011 05:27 am (UTC)
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Edited 2011-02-07 05:28 am (UTC)
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[identity profile] makeupkind.livejournal.com on February 7th, 2011 05:56 am (UTC)
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[identity profile] yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on February 8th, 2011 01:31 am (UTC)
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You would probably do so if your mind wasn't so hazy. The lengths you've already gone through to hide your blood color are astounding. Really. You stitched yourself together inside a closet, hid in a store, and scrubbed away any evidence you may have left behind. If you were any crazier, you could probably become Troll Dexter.

As if anyone needed more psychopath trolls running about.



Regardless, this may end the OCD need to conceal every possible link to your blood color at all. Let us lament all the moments you could have spent dodging into closets, alley ways, and placing yourself in all sorts of ridiculous situations simply for the sake of keeping a secret.

Or not. Because you still don't know that THEY know yet. You are about to look like a doofus.







GOD.

FUCKING.

DAMN IT.

You have no idea what this entails, but you are certain that you will hate your Flash Sideways self as much as you hate your Past and Future selves.

It's like a Karkat clusterfuck of hate up in here.

    Ya'll gonna make me lose my mind
    up in here, up in here
      ~Troll Dexter
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[identity profile] lonelyglub.livejournal.com on February 8th, 2011 01:53 am (UTC)
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Edited 2011-02-08 01:54 am (UTC)
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[identity profile] freeglub.livejournal.com on February 8th, 2011 02:36 am (UTC)
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Sollux Captor[personal profile] biwinning on February 8th, 2011 02:57 am (UTC)
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Sollux: Fail to stop noticing Karkat's blood.

While honestly, you don't care about it much yourself, and neither would any one else but Eridan in this room, it still has your attention held pretty securely--

Sollux: Watch Eridan run into a wall and giggle.

After doing that, you attempt to "pfff" to mock Feferi's question, but your teeth (per usual) fuck it up. You wind up spitting a bit instead. Sorry Karkat, you're the victim of this, since Sollux is sitting on the edge of the couch now.

pphhhhf.
no.
human'2 are diifferent.
ii bet they don't even know what a chiitiinou2 wiindhole ii2.
human'2 would probably ju2t make iit wor2e.
...
but iit'2 not liike we have a whole lot of optiion2.
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[identity profile] adorabloodiest.livejournal.com on February 8th, 2011 05:16 am (UTC)
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