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[ SPERO. NIGHT TIME. TWO TROLLS WANDER THE FORSAKEN STREETS IN SEARCH OF shit to throw into Eridan's sylladex. Yeah there's just cards basically hovering next to Eridan. This is totally normal. You could also care to notice that they're also quite stylish thanks to Japan's neurotic sewing and trolls' inability to give a shit about fashion. ]
FUCK, I THOUGHT THIS ONE WAS YOURS-- ANYWAY, WE'RE ALIVE. NOT THAT ANYONE ESPECIALLY CARES. I WOULD'VE CHECKED IN THE SECOND I GOT OFF THAT GODFORSAKEN PILE OF MOLDY LUMBER, BUT I WAS SET BACK BY STUPID EMOTIONS. FOR THE RECORD, BENFROMLOST DID NOT MAKE THE JOURNEY IN ONE PIECE THANKS TO A CERTAIN SHERIFF OF SHITTOWN.
[ He points the camera to Eridan. ]
sheriff from shittowwn here wwith deputy fuckass to report to you on shittowwn progress but since i no longer havve my FUCKIN COMMUNICATOR i wwill have to use deputy fuckasss communicator to report in on all the happenin shitty things in shittowwn
[ There's some crude sign language resmbling a bird as Eridan picks up a box of cereal. ]
i wwant to say in my defense i tried to savve benfromlost you stupid asshole
AFTER YOU FUCKING THREW ME OVERBOARD!
wwell youre the one wwho said i wwouldnt dare do it and you wwere bein fuckin unbearable
plus you didnt fuckin believve me wwhen i said there wwere monsters dowwn there BUT NOWW YOU DO and benfromlost is evvidence of that
I WONDER IF I CAN JUST THROW YOU INTO YOUR OWN SYLLADEX. WHO CARES IF IT CREATES AN INFINITE PARADOX THAT LIKELY RESULTS IN A FRACTURE IN REALITY. YOU'D PROBABLY CAULK ANY CRACKS WITH THE HIDEOUS CONGLOMERATE OF ROTTEN FLAB THAT YOU CALL A HUSK.
wwah wwah wwah tell you wwhat since you wwere so attached to that stupid flipperbeast i wwill personally go find you a new minion beast to wwalloww on and cry about
maybe this one wwont fly us to the land of stupid trolls and rock coconuts in his cardboard airplane and crash us dowwn into stupidityvville because fuck deputy fuckass
wwere not the sheriff in stupidityvvile
THAT'S NOT EVEN THE FUCKING POINT. ME TELLING YOU NOT TO THROW MY GODDAMN RETARDED MINION INTO A LAKE OF ACID ISN'T A DARE. YOU CAN'T CLEAN THE SALT WATER OUT OF YOUR EARS TO LISTEN FOR JUST TWO FUCKING SECONDS--
[ Karkat stops mid sentence as a low growling is heard off screen. Multiple growling. All the growling. ]
...wwhat wwas that?
IT WAS AN EDWARDICORN. WHAT DO YOU THINK, DUMPASS? SORRY, NEVER MIND. YOUR SYLLADEX ISN'T FULL, RIGHT?
oh great wwe can just turn you into a unicorn and then you wwill forget the empty feelin of benfromlost not existin anymore
no my sylladex isnt full dumpass
LET'S SAVE YOUR MAGICAL FATTY FANTASIES FOR ANOTHER DAY. HAVE IT READY TO CAPATULOGUE SOMETHING.
[ Karkat draws his sickle and tenses. Something shuffles to the left. He takes a step back anddddddd...
RAPTOR. SUDDENLY. This should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone. What is surprising is what happens when, in a rather impressive acrobatic feat, Karkat dodges its jaws and kicks it towards Eridan.
And in an even more stunning effort of teamwork, Eridan catches it and shouts- ] G FOUR [ and quickly captulogues the raptor into his BLOCKADE TYPE SYLLADEX. Dear viewers, he basically just caught a raptor in his wee little troll hands and made the fucking raptor disappear into the cards hovering near him. However, as he was able to captulogue the raptor, the other item (Eridan's cape) laying in battleship section G-4 flies out. ]
oh thats wwhere i put it...
AND NOW YOU HAVE A MINIATURE SHARPTOOTH. YOU'RE WELCOME. THERE'S ANOTHER HANGING AROUND-- WAIT. [ looking at his communicator ] IS THIS THING STILL ON? JEGUS.
[ Annnnnnddd promptly shutting it off so that they can go back to raptor capatuloguing. ]
FUCK, I THOUGHT THIS ONE WAS YOURS-- ANYWAY, WE'RE ALIVE. NOT THAT ANYONE ESPECIALLY CARES. I WOULD'VE CHECKED IN THE SECOND I GOT OFF THAT GODFORSAKEN PILE OF MOLDY LUMBER, BUT I WAS SET BACK BY STUPID EMOTIONS. FOR THE RECORD, BENFROMLOST DID NOT MAKE THE JOURNEY IN ONE PIECE THANKS TO A CERTAIN SHERIFF OF SHITTOWN.
[ He points the camera to Eridan. ]
sheriff from shittowwn here wwith deputy fuckass to report to you on shittowwn progress but since i no longer havve my FUCKIN COMMUNICATOR i wwill have to use deputy fuckasss communicator to report in on all the happenin shitty things in shittowwn
[ There's some crude sign language resmbling a bird as Eridan picks up a box of cereal. ]
i wwant to say in my defense i tried to savve benfromlost you stupid asshole
AFTER YOU FUCKING THREW ME OVERBOARD!
wwell youre the one wwho said i wwouldnt dare do it and you wwere bein fuckin unbearable
plus you didnt fuckin believve me wwhen i said there wwere monsters dowwn there BUT NOWW YOU DO and benfromlost is evvidence of that
I WONDER IF I CAN JUST THROW YOU INTO YOUR OWN SYLLADEX. WHO CARES IF IT CREATES AN INFINITE PARADOX THAT LIKELY RESULTS IN A FRACTURE IN REALITY. YOU'D PROBABLY CAULK ANY CRACKS WITH THE HIDEOUS CONGLOMERATE OF ROTTEN FLAB THAT YOU CALL A HUSK.
wwah wwah wwah tell you wwhat since you wwere so attached to that stupid flipperbeast i wwill personally go find you a new minion beast to wwalloww on and cry about
maybe this one wwont fly us to the land of stupid trolls and rock coconuts in his cardboard airplane and crash us dowwn into stupidityvville because fuck deputy fuckass
wwere not the sheriff in stupidityvvile
THAT'S NOT EVEN THE FUCKING POINT. ME TELLING YOU NOT TO THROW MY GODDAMN RETARDED MINION INTO A LAKE OF ACID ISN'T A DARE. YOU CAN'T CLEAN THE SALT WATER OUT OF YOUR EARS TO LISTEN FOR JUST TWO FUCKING SECONDS--
[ Karkat stops mid sentence as a low growling is heard off screen. Multiple growling. All the growling. ]
...wwhat wwas that?
IT WAS AN EDWARDICORN. WHAT DO YOU THINK, DUMPASS? SORRY, NEVER MIND. YOUR SYLLADEX ISN'T FULL, RIGHT?
oh great wwe can just turn you into a unicorn and then you wwill forget the empty feelin of benfromlost not existin anymore
no my sylladex isnt full dumpass
LET'S SAVE YOUR MAGICAL FATTY FANTASIES FOR ANOTHER DAY. HAVE IT READY TO CAPATULOGUE SOMETHING.
[ Karkat draws his sickle and tenses. Something shuffles to the left. He takes a step back anddddddd...
RAPTOR. SUDDENLY. This should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone. What is surprising is what happens when, in a rather impressive acrobatic feat, Karkat dodges its jaws and kicks it towards Eridan.
And in an even more stunning effort of teamwork, Eridan catches it and shouts- ] G FOUR [ and quickly captulogues the raptor into his BLOCKADE TYPE SYLLADEX. Dear viewers, he basically just caught a raptor in his wee little troll hands and made the fucking raptor disappear into the cards hovering near him. However, as he was able to captulogue the raptor, the other item (Eridan's cape) laying in battleship section G-4 flies out. ]
oh thats wwhere i put it...
AND NOW YOU HAVE A MINIATURE SHARPTOOTH. YOU'RE WELCOME. THERE'S ANOTHER HANGING AROUND-- WAIT. [ looking at his communicator ] IS THIS THING STILL ON? JEGUS.
[ Annnnnnddd promptly shutting it off so that they can go back to raptor capatuloguing. ]
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