yourgoddamnit - ( text; ) Karkat: Ride the bear to the top of the hole and acquire a Vriska

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yourgoddamnit

19 March 2011 @ 06:27 pm

( text; ) Karkat: Ride the bear to the top of the hole and acquire a Vriska

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW posted to board DISCEDOCITY --

LET ME TELL YOU THE TALE OF MY WOES, DISCEDO.
AND BY WOES
I MEAN YOU ALL SUCK.
I CAN'T EVEN COME UP WITH A MORE VICIOUS INSULT THAN THAT BECAUSE THIS SITUATION IS TOO FUCKING ABSURD.

SO AFTER YOU THANKLESS FUCKHUMPERS LOCKED ME OUT OF THE HIVE, I WAS LEFT TO WANDER IN THE SUN
WITH ALL THE SUPPLIES I HAD GATHERED FOR YOU SHITHEADS.
AND WHEN I COULDN'T BEAR IT ANYMORE, THE UNIVERSE SHOVED ME IN A FUCKING HOLE.
I ATE ALL OF THE GOOD STUFF OUT OF SPITE WHILST DOWN IN THE DARK ABYSS.
THANKFULLY I FOUND THIS DISFIGURED FANGBEAST WITH ME
MANAGED TO AVOID ITS TERRIBLE CLAWS
AND AM NOW RIDING IT BACK TO OUR HIVE.
I'M ALMOST TOO AFRAID TO GET OFF BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE IT'LL TRY TO ATTACK ME AGAIN.

IF THE DOOR IS STILL LOCKED I WILL HAVE THIS BEAR DROP KICK IT DOWN AND EAT YOU ALL
AND THEN I WILL LAUGH AS I SIT IN THE SANDWICH FACTORY'S KITCHEN.

ALSO I FOUND VRISKA.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SORRY LOT DON'T HAVE ME TO GUIDE YOU, APPARENTLY
YOU LOSE TRACK OF FUCKING EVERYONE.
GOOD JOB, GUYS. YOU HAVE DISPLAYED ABSOLUTELY NO COMPETENCE.
THEREFORE, I'M HOARDING THE TOOTHPASTE ALL TO MYSELF
AND THE SUNBURN GEL.
MY HUSK IS FLAKING AND DISCOLORED THANKS TO MY INVOLUNTARY EXILE.

[ Karkat will be riding Sho's Ronnie the Bear through the city with Vriska in tow. Or has been. Whatev. This is how I come off hiatus, apparently. ]

231 comments | Leave a comment

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Sollux Captor

biwinning on March 20th, 2011 12:03 am (UTC)

not beiing burned and not about two be mauled by a bear.
what'2 your poiint.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 12:09 am (UTC)

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Sollux Captor: On a quest to claim absolute victory.

biwinning on March 20th, 2011 12:19 am (UTC)

we have everyone back here except tz.
john and dave are 2tayiing here untiil iit'2 2afe two open the door from miind readiing raiinbow driinker2.
iit'2 an ab2olute clu2terfuck iin here.
you 2hould be thankful two be out there.
ii don't have two fuckiing 2econd2 two my2elf.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 12:48 am (UTC)

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Sollux Captor: I'm just giving them what they want.

biwinning on March 20th, 2011 01:58 am (UTC)

ye2.
he triied two braiinwa2h aradiia and then 2aiid he'd come after u2 next.
thii2 ii2 after he 2aiid he wanted two driink eriidan'2 blood.

but once you get here there'2 2omethiing ii need two talk you about.
away from all thii2.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 21st, 2011 08:54 pm (UTC)

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Sollux Captor: Rock bottom? That's a fishing term.

biwinning on March 21st, 2011 09:30 pm (UTC)
[ locked // 30% ]

ii'd prefer 2omewhere el2e.
the roof maybe.
no waiit you're two fuckiing loud for that.
you'll be 2creamiing your repliie2 2o loud the entiire ciity wiill hear iit.
an empty room on the thiird floor maybe.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 21st, 2011 10:52 pm (UTC)
[ locked // 30% ]

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Sollux Captor

biwinning on March 21st, 2011 11:09 pm (UTC)
[ locked // 30% ]

ok ii have no iidea what you're talkiing about.
but 2ure that wiill work.
tell me when you're there.
ii don't want two have two go crawliing through the ceiiliing for no rea2on.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 23rd, 2011 04:55 am (UTC)
[ locked // 30% ]

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Sollux Captor: ii aiin't even mad.

biwinning on March 23rd, 2011 03:19 pm (UTC)
[ locked // 30% ]

> Sollux: Go look for shitty basement.

======>

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2011 03:57 am (UTC)
[ action ]

You are now conveniently not on the bear, but heading towards the door to the basement.

TIME SKIPS SURE ARE FUN.

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Sollux Captor: Everything. Next question.

biwinning on March 24th, 2011 04:09 am (UTC)
[ action ]

You are also now waiting in the basement. If you felt like being a dick and less like actually having a conversation, you'd probably turn off the lights and attempt to pull some horror movie shit. Fortunately, that sort of urge doesn't strike you often, and you think it's more important to be serious for the time being.

Tho where'th the thupplieth, KK?

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2011 05:55 am (UTC)
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I THREW THEM THROUGH THE FUCKING WINDOW SINCE THE DOOR IS ALL BOARDED UP.
ERIDAN MANAGED TO LEAVE IT UNLATCHED LONG ENOUGH THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO TRUST OUR FOOD WITH VRISKA.

You're alone in a basement, in person, with someone who "needs to talk to you." Nothing about this situation seems comfortable. You refuse to let it show, though.

SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?

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Sollux Captor: A three-letter word. It rhymes with why.

biwinning on March 24th, 2011 06:31 am (UTC)
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> Sollux: Roll eyes at Karkat's dramatics.

This would be more easily communicated if you had pupils.

> Sollux: Be suspicious of your surroundings.

What? You don't really have reason to. You doubt Eridan followed Karkat down here, and even if he did, what the fuck was he going to do about it?

We really have to unblock the door thith ith thtupid.
But what I wanted to talk to you about...
It'th about Eridan.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2011 06:36 am (UTC)
[ action ]

WHAT DID THAT FISHFUCK DO THIS TIME?

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Sollux Captor: Faith is for winners. Hope is for losers

biwinning on March 24th, 2011 07:00 am (UTC)
[ action ]

Nothing important yet.
Equiuth woke up here too while you were out.
He thaid Eridan went on a killing thpree in hith timeline.
I don't know if it'th a doomed timeline or if it'th jutht our future.
Thomething about Gamzee too.
You should probably talk to him yourthelf.

You shrug in a manner that symbolizes that you have the weight of concern off your shoulders, because now it is on Karkat's shoulders to bear this responsibility. Because like hell you want to deal with this whole situation.

Tho, leader, have fun dealing with thith.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2011 07:12 am (UTC)
[ action ]

Unfortunately, you have no choice in this. You chose to be the leader, and as the leader, it is up to you to deal with the homicidal tendencies of your followers. You wish you could say you were surprised, but you're really not.

SO THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANT.

The urge to stab a Cyclops (or former cyclops) is rising. Where is Vriska.

I THOUGHT IT WAS BULLSHIT AT THE TIME
BUT SOMEONE WHO KNEW THAT I WAS THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD SAID THAT SOMEONE IN OUR GROUP WOULD KILL ANOTHER.
NOT SO DIRECTLY THOUGH.
AND SHE THREW ME AGAINST A WALL.
STILL
IF ERIDAN'S GOING TO KILL ANYONE, THERE'S A GOOD GUESS WHO HE'S GOING TO START WITH.

YEAH I'LL TALK TO HIM AS SOON AS I CAN GET HIM ALONE.
THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF I HAD ACCESS TO MY FUTURE MEMOS.
FUCK.

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Sollux Captor: I'm just giving them what they want.

biwinning on March 24th, 2011 07:31 am (UTC)
[ action ]

You met another prophet here?
And Equiuth didn't thay anything about me dying.
Tho I live thomehow at leatht in hith timeline.
I don't know about here though becauthe without my powerth I'm pretty much ath powerful ath a grub with all of it'th limbth torn off.
I'm working on it though.
Chip removal prothedureth.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 26th, 2011 04:06 am (UTC)
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SOME HUMAN FEMALE WITHOUT EYES.
THAT'S ALL I KNOW.
HAVE YOU MADE ANY DEFINITE PLANS FOR YOUR CHIP REMOVAL?
ARE YOU RELYING ON THE SHADY DOCTOR?

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Sollux Captor: The next one goes in your mouth.

biwinning on March 26th, 2011 06:40 am (UTC)
[ action ]

...She wath blind?

[WELP. INTEREST PIQUED...]

Yeth.
I'm trying to.
He'th inthithting we go in order from whoever athked firtht.
I thtill athked before Eridan and I'm trying to convinthe him to not take out Eridan'th but it'th not going well.

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yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com on March 26th, 2011 07:20 am (UTC)
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SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING EYES, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

[ ROLLING HIS EYES, the little asshole. ]

IF I MANAGE TO FIND OUT WHERE HE'S LURKING, I'LL SUPPORT YOUR CASE.
IT SHOULDN'T BE HARD.
ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT ERIDAN IS A WHINY DOUCHEHOLE
AND THAT HIS POWERS OF OVER DRAMATIC BITCHING WILL ONLY INCREASE TENFOLD ONCE HIS CHIP IS REMOVED.
I'M SURE THE SHADY DOCTOR DOESN'T WANT HIS EAR CANALS VIOLENTLY ASSAULTED BY HIS HORRIFIC SHRIEKING.

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Sollux Captor: you're looking over your shoulder

biwinning on March 26th, 2011 08:39 am (UTC)
[ action ]

[Ignoring that first part because this shit is actually serious.]

Fine.

...

I jutht know thomething ith going to go wrong.

Edited 2011-03-26 08:39 am (UTC)

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