( text; ) Karkat: Ride the bear to the top of the hole and acquire a Vriska

[yourgoddamnit]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW posted to board DISCEDOCITY --

LET ME TELL YOU THE TALE OF MY WOES, DISCEDO.
AND BY WOES
I MEAN YOU ALL SUCK.
I CAN'T EVEN COME UP WITH A MORE VICIOUS INSULT THAN THAT BECAUSE THIS SITUATION IS TOO FUCKING ABSURD.

SO AFTER YOU THANKLESS FUCKHUMPERS LOCKED ME OUT OF THE HIVE, I WAS LEFT TO WANDER IN THE SUN
WITH ALL THE SUPPLIES I HAD GATHERED FOR YOU SHITHEADS.
AND WHEN I COULDN'T BEAR IT ANYMORE, THE UNIVERSE SHOVED ME IN A FUCKING HOLE.
I ATE ALL OF THE GOOD STUFF OUT OF SPITE WHILST DOWN IN THE DARK ABYSS.
THANKFULLY I FOUND THIS DISFIGURED FANGBEAST WITH ME
MANAGED TO AVOID ITS TERRIBLE CLAWS
AND AM NOW RIDING IT BACK TO OUR HIVE.
I'M ALMOST TOO AFRAID TO GET OFF BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE IT'LL TRY TO ATTACK ME AGAIN.

IF THE DOOR IS STILL LOCKED I WILL HAVE THIS BEAR DROP KICK IT DOWN AND EAT YOU ALL
AND THEN I WILL LAUGH AS I SIT IN THE SANDWICH FACTORY'S KITCHEN.

ALSO I FOUND VRISKA.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SORRY LOT DON'T HAVE ME TO GUIDE YOU, APPARENTLY
YOU LOSE TRACK OF FUCKING EVERYONE.
GOOD JOB, GUYS. YOU HAVE DISPLAYED ABSOLUTELY NO COMPETENCE.
THEREFORE, I'M HOARDING THE TOOTHPASTE ALL TO MYSELF
AND THE SUNBURN GEL.
MY HUSK IS FLAKING AND DISCOLORED THANKS TO MY INVOLUNTARY EXILE.

[ Karkat will be riding Sho's Ronnie the Bear through the city with Vriska in tow. Or has been. Whatev. This is how I come off hiatus, apparently. ]

Comments

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ ...cut off there. THE DOCTOR IS LEFT TO WONDER FOR AT LEAST 5 MINUTES WHAT THE OUTCOME WILL BE. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ STILL NOT RESPONDING.

KINDA BUSY WITH THE BEAR AND VRISKA. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

...

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat is actually perfectly safe, if a little banged up and more than a little angry.

By this point he's managed to escape Vriska and the bear, but he's lost his communicator in the fray.

But first, he's collecting up his burn ointment. His skin still hurts, and digging around in the dirt looking for his communicator after FIGHTING OFF A BEAR isn't exactly easy, even if his pain tolerance is ridiculously high. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ I have no idea where the bear ran off to. It could be lurking. For the moment though, the Doctor can probably hear his raspy screaming from a block away. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat doesn't notice the Doctor approaching. He's finally found his communicator.

And he just stares at the banana. ]



[ This he says out loud. Then he types it again in text. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

It's a banana!

I love bananas, Discedo's horribly lacking in them, but I thought I'd message that to you since you couldn't find the communicator.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat is not waving back. He is standing their in all his tiny, malnourished, burned little troll glory. Also scowling, but when isn't he?

Since the Doctor is within sight, he shoves the communicator in his pocket, crossing his arms over his chest until the Doctor draws closer. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

I did just tell you! You couldn't find it. With it lighting up in the dark--well, that's obvious.

Rambling. So, why am I here? I'm here because not only did you leave me hanging on the pretense of fighting off a bear, but I promised you an open window, and I am a man of my word.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat doesn't react violently or back away as the Doctor gets closer. Mistrust is still written all over his face, but hey, he's gotta be careful. The last guy that helped him ended up bringing out pails and threatening to eat him. Goddamn Sandwich Factory.

He shuffles to gather up his rucksacks of supplies from the dirt. ]



[ That's his own form of an apology. He stops just short of saying "sorry" because... it's Karkat. But the sentiment is still clear. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

So, you're alive and well. Sort of. Not really--let's not get into that debate, but the fact is you're alive and that's good.

...

Where's the window in question?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ To indicate which it is, he smacks against it a couple times. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

Shall you do the honors or should I?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Sorry Doctor, Karkat is too busy focusing on your glowing Screwdriver Kind instrument. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

Yeah! It's a sonic screwdriver. Everything needs a bit more sonic.

...

Sonic is cool.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat pulls a face when the Doctor mentions how cool the screwdriver is, but at least it isn't deemed a legendary piece of shit. ]



[ He opens the window, throwing the sack inside. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

That's the idea, but you can do a lot more with a sonic screwdriver than you could with, say, a knife. I mean technically you could stab someone with it, but you can't read atmospheres with a knife, or increase frequencies to temporarily deafen your sound-sensitive enemies, or... or unlock windows without causing damage that'd have to be fixed later.