yourgoddamnit | ( text ) Karkat: Turn stupid joke into game canon

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board THE DISCO HELL --

CG: I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR ALL THE HOSTAGE VICTIMS ACROSS THIS NOT SO GLORIOUS LAND.
CG: THE MONSTER ISN'T AN INDESTRUCTIBLE AND FRANKLY TERRIFYING FORCE FROM A UNIVERSE I'M FAMILIAR WITH.
CG: WELL IT CAUSED COLOSSAL DESTRUCTION TO MY UNIVERSE TOO BUT THAT'S A LONG STORY.
CG: IT'S JUST A NORMAL VICIOUS MONSTER.
CG: THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE STILL FUCKED BECAUSE IT IS ONE TOUGH BEAST.
CG: ON THAT SUBJECT
CG: IN A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION
CG: WHERE MIGHT I FIND BANDAGES/STITCHES/MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND SHELTER WITHOUT BEING SEEN BY A SINGLE SOUL?
CG: IF I HYPOTHETICALLY HAD TO BE SEEN I WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY RATHER BLEED TO DEATH AND WAIT TO COME BACK.
CG: I ALSO HYPOTHETICALLY ACQUIRED A TALKING FLIPPERBEAST.
CG: WAIT THAT'S A LIE THAT'S NOT HYPOTHETICAL AT ALL.
CG: I FOUND A FUCKING TALKING PENGUIN.
CG: IT KEEPS A SAYING "DOOD."
CG: HE'S ANNOYING AS ALL HELL BUT HE IS MINE. I HAVE NAMED HIM BENFROMLOST. I'M NOT SURE WHY.
CG: I DON'T HAVE PSYCHIC COMMUNING SKILLS AND YET I FEEL AS THOUGH THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
CG: SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE HAS JUST OCCURRED.
CG: I'M BOTH ENRAGED AND CONTENT.
CG: THIS IS A STRANGE MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS.
CG: I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO GIVE ADVICE ON MY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION BEFORE I HYPOTHETICALLY DIE AND HYPOTHETICALLY HAVE TO GO ON A QUEST TO RETRIEVE BENFROMLOST AFTER MY REVIVAL.
CG: OR WORSE, CREATE A PARADOX TIME LINE IN WHICH I'M ALIVE, THEREBY CREATING ANOTHER ME.
CG: NO ONE WANTS THAT. NO ONE. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...

[WELL THEN HE'LL JUST BE... moving to the kitchen. ... wow or actually he gets food from his place and brings it over WHO CARES THERE IS NOW FOOD IN YOUR KITCHEN AND JAPAN IS PREPARING IT.

DO NOT ARGUE WITH MY LOGIC.]

[ MEANWHILE Karkat's just a-stitchin' away. Finally he emerges from his temporary fortress with less bandages but now stitches. God he's tired. But who knows when he last eaten, and with the chip in he definitely needs to.

I also just realized it is a terrible idea for him to be outside during the day. OH WELL HE WAS BLEEDING TO DEATH and Alternia's sun is worse than Discedo's so ehhhh.

He'll spend some time looking around while Japan cooks, scowling all the while. ]

[such a charming scowl.

anyway Japan's just going to set the food on the table like he does for every single freaking character I tag. why does he always cook. is this food therapy. apparently so.]

CG-san.. I am finished if you are hungry. [CG-san... forever]

[ At least America demands the food. You have no excuse for Karkat. Still this kid hasn't eaten in days and I'm guessing that's not gonna fly, especially with the chip in.

He is staring with such longing at the food. SUCH LONGING. But he has enough dignity to not just shove his face in it and go BLUH BLUH FOOD. Instead, he seats himself and sets his usual irritated from in place. ]

[glancing over.]

It is the closest thing I could make to Japanese food in a city like this... Ah, I assure you, it tastes good considering all things.

[ Karkat has no idea what Japanese food is, but he tries it.

BLUH.

No not really. He thinks it tastes weird but he's so hungry he just doesn't care at this point. He'll eat it. Not quite with as much gusto or enthusiasm as America, but he'll eat it all. ]

[wow. might have had a little, but cleans up.

BE GRATEFUL LITTLE GREY MAN.]

...Are you feeling any better?

[ HE'S GRATEFUL IN HIS USUAL HATEFUL WAY. Said with a mouth full of food between his unusually sharp teeth: ]

[an interesting type of tsun, Japan believes]

Ah, I am better than before. Even with such slow healing wounds, I can handle it.

[ THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TSUN IN TROLL ROMANCE!!!! ...I don't think. It's all weird. ]

[LMFAO troll romance seems complicated...]

I am quite sure that is impossible, as useful as that would be...

[ You have no idea. ]

[ Face in hands. HIS LIFE IS SO HARD. ]

[frowning]

Please do not react in such a way. ...Ah, while I understand your explanation of hiding your blood, I am sure something can be decided in time.

Is there no doctor you could trust with such a task?! ...Ah, forgive me, but you claimed that red was lowest, correct? Is that not the color of human blood? S-surely there must be some sort of halfway point you can make...

Ahh.. It is truly difficult to locate with such careless actions, you see..

[ Congrats Japan you've touched a nerve. It doesn't help that the last person who had Karkat's blood color ended up nuking him and murdering all his friends. SO MANY ISSUES, SO LITTLE TIME. Karkat is throwing a fucking fit, in fact. He shoves the plate/bowl/whatev off the table and he's about to angrily gesture to the door when he winces in pain. ]

I did not-- I was just-- w-what?!

[LMFAO STARING SO CONFUSED. HE DIDN'T EVEN. ASSUME although he could have from that level of hiding BUT UH W-..WH...

Eventually he raises his hands defensively and steps closer.]

You will hurt yourself further if you continue to react in such a way. It is not as if I am forcing any such thing. Ah... I was not attempting to make any assumptions..

[ SO MUCH FURY ON HIS FACE. SO MUCH. such an angry kid. ]

[really need that hot spring

BUT JUST FROWNS AT]

[ He'll probably boil like a crab and end up even angrier. Also tasty.

SCOWLING RIGHT BACK. ]

[...

wow eventually just. moves to clean up whatever Karkat shoved off the table.]

[ you are a confusing creature Japan, doing nice things for Karkat for no reason. he doesn't know whether he should hate you or form an alliance with you or some terrible combination thereof. ]

I am cleaning..

[glancing up at Karkat while picking up stuff. who even knows what Japan is. I don't.]

If there are any further questions along the line, or if assistance is required, do not hesitate to ask.

[ FACEPALM COMBO X2! ]

[slowly stands. and. TRASH + SINK IDK just gets rid of the stuff he was cleaning up yes]

... I do not understand what is so strange about what I have been doing.. Ah, but, I do not mean to anger anyone, and pity is not necessary, so..

I can simply leave.

(no subject)

yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com - 2011-01-16 22:27 (UTC) - Expand

asideglance.livejournal.com - 2011-01-16 22:38 (UTC) - Expand

yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com - 2011-01-16 22:54 (UTC) - Expand

asideglance.livejournal.com - 2011-01-16 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com - 2011-01-16 23:08 (UTC) - Expand

asideglance.livejournal.com - 2011-01-16 23:15 (UTC) - Expand

yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com - 2011-01-16 23:51 (UTC) - Expand

asideglance.livejournal.com - 2011-01-16 23:53 (UTC) - Expand

yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com - 2011-01-17 00:33 (UTC) - Expand

asideglance.livejournal.com - 2011-01-17 00:36 (UTC) - Expand