( text ) Karkat: Turn stupid joke into game canon

[yourgoddamnit]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board THE DISCO HELL --

CG: I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR ALL THE HOSTAGE VICTIMS ACROSS THIS NOT SO GLORIOUS LAND.
CG: THE MONSTER ISN'T AN INDESTRUCTIBLE AND FRANKLY TERRIFYING FORCE FROM A UNIVERSE I'M FAMILIAR WITH.
CG: WELL IT CAUSED COLOSSAL DESTRUCTION TO MY UNIVERSE TOO BUT THAT'S A LONG STORY.
CG: IT'S JUST A NORMAL VICIOUS MONSTER.
CG: THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE STILL FUCKED BECAUSE IT IS ONE TOUGH BEAST.
CG: ON THAT SUBJECT
CG: IN A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION
CG: WHERE MIGHT I FIND BANDAGES/STITCHES/MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND SHELTER WITHOUT BEING SEEN BY A SINGLE SOUL?
CG: IF I HYPOTHETICALLY HAD TO BE SEEN I WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY RATHER BLEED TO DEATH AND WAIT TO COME BACK.
CG: I ALSO HYPOTHETICALLY ACQUIRED A TALKING FLIPPERBEAST.
CG: WAIT THAT'S A LIE THAT'S NOT HYPOTHETICAL AT ALL.
CG: I FOUND A FUCKING TALKING PENGUIN.
CG: IT KEEPS A SAYING "DOOD."
CG: HE'S ANNOYING AS ALL HELL BUT HE IS MINE. I HAVE NAMED HIM BENFROMLOST. I'M NOT SURE WHY.
CG: I DON'T HAVE PSYCHIC COMMUNING SKILLS AND YET I FEEL AS THOUGH THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
CG: SOMETHING RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE HAS JUST OCCURRED.
CG: I'M BOTH ENRAGED AND CONTENT.
CG: THIS IS A STRANGE MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS.
CG: I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO GIVE ADVICE ON MY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION BEFORE I HYPOTHETICALLY DIE AND HYPOTHETICALLY HAVE TO GO ON A QUEST TO RETRIEVE BENFROMLOST AFTER MY REVIVAL.
CG: OR WORSE, CREATE A PARADOX TIME LINE IN WHICH I'M ALIVE, THEREBY CREATING ANOTHER ME.
CG: NO ONE WANTS THAT. NO ONE. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

Comments

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

You do not prefer a certain floor?

[points to some random rooms idk.]

There are many free, as far as I know, so... ah, walk into one, I suppose.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat angrily pushes his way around Japan and punches the first door he sees. That was so unproductive. Blood might start seeping through his bandages soon, not that Karkat will notice. Too busy screaming at doors. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[STARING LMFAO]

T-that room is empty! Go ahead!

[also going to follow. so he can make food. like a normal person. breathes.]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat will enter his new abode with an aura of ruthless possession. Yessss. HIS NEW DOMAIN. ...It kinda sucks but honestly it's still better than the fucking meteor. At least here there's furniture. ]



[ Hey, he can be grateful when he wants. He's about to inspect the first thing to fix when he realizes something horrifying:

His blood is starting to seep through his bandages.

Cue him promptly dodging into a nearby closet. Blubbery goddamn pansy. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

It is no trouble. Ah, if you would like--

[And then closet hiding and curses. WHAT IS GOING ON. STARING.]

W-what?! What is it?! Calm yourself!

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

A stapler?! Ahhh, surely that will not help..!

[lmfao but he turns to find the first aid kit again before sliding it over on the floor or something idk.]

Have they not been properly treated? I do not understand this type of cultural difference, but...

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ SHOVING IT BACK OUT ANGRILY. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[stares at the kit]

S-stitching... You truly work in such a way?

[he doesn't question the blood thing because he is a man who can respect cultural differences okay. but he may mumble later about how he's strange or something. BUT FOR NOW.]

If you are certain a needle is what you need, I have a sewing kit in my room.

[HE REALLY DOESN'T GET IT. WHAT ARE YOU, KARKAT.]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ HE IS A YOUNG TROLL WITH NOTHING TO LOSE. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

Uwahhh, I will be right back!

[AND HE RUNS OFF.

He will then get his sewing kit, come back, and slide that to Karkat instead. Yes.]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat's just. Chillin in his closet. Clearly this is where he's going to live from now on. THIS IS HIS LAND. IT IS THE LAND OF CLOSETS AND PILLOW FORTS. Alternatively, Land of Lost.

There are some hisses of pain and various curses from within the closet while Karkat puts himself back together. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[twitch]

...ahh, it is an issue? [f-frowning lmfao what even] I had been planning to prepare something, but...

[wow refusing cooking how could you]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

...

[WELL THEN HE'LL JUST BE... moving to the kitchen. ... wow or actually he gets food from his place and brings it over WHO CARES THERE IS NOW FOOD IN YOUR KITCHEN AND JAPAN IS PREPARING IT.

DO NOT ARGUE WITH MY LOGIC.]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ MEANWHILE Karkat's just a-stitchin' away. Finally he emerges from his temporary fortress with less bandages but now stitches. God he's tired. But who knows when he last eaten, and with the chip in he definitely needs to.

I also just realized it is a terrible idea for him to be outside during the day. OH WELL HE WAS BLEEDING TO DEATH and Alternia's sun is worse than Discedo's so ehhhh.

He'll spend some time looking around while Japan cooks, scowling all the while. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[such a charming scowl.

anyway Japan's just going to set the food on the table like he does for every single freaking character I tag. why does he always cook. is this food therapy. apparently so.]

CG-san.. I am finished if you are hungry. [CG-san... forever]

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ At least America demands the food. You have no excuse for Karkat. Still this kid hasn't eaten in days and I'm guessing that's not gonna fly, especially with the chip in.

He is staring with such longing at the food. SUCH LONGING. But he has enough dignity to not just shove his face in it and go BLUH BLUH FOOD. Instead, he seats himself and sets his usual irritated from in place. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[glancing over.]

It is the closest thing I could make to Japanese food in a city like this... Ah, I assure you, it tastes good considering all things.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ Karkat has no idea what Japanese food is, but he tries it.

BLUH.

No not really. He thinks it tastes weird but he's so hungry he just doesn't care at this point. He'll eat it. Not quite with as much gusto or enthusiasm as America, but he'll eat it all. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[wow. might have had a little, but cleans up.

BE GRATEFUL LITTLE GREY MAN.]

...Are you feeling any better?

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ HE'S GRATEFUL IN HIS USUAL HATEFUL WAY. Said with a mouth full of food between his unusually sharp teeth: ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[an interesting type of tsun, Japan believes]

Ah, I am better than before. Even with such slow healing wounds, I can handle it.

[yourgoddamnit.livejournal.com]

[ THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TSUN IN TROLL ROMANCE!!!! ...I don't think. It's all weird. ]

[asideglance.livejournal.com]

[LMFAO troll romance seems complicated...]

I am quite sure that is impossible, as useful as that would be...