yourgoddamnit | ( text ) Karkat: Break the first rule of Fight Club.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW posted to board DISCEDOCITY --

I'M TOO FUCKING TIRED TO TYPE "CG:" IN FRONT OF ALL OF MY COMMENTS. JUST PRETEND IT'S THERE.

FIRST, FUCK YOU ALL FOR COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR LACK OF SLEEP. "BLUH BLUH I'VE BEEN GETTING POOR SLEEP FOR DAYS! I FEEL ANGRY!" WELCOME TO MY DAILY EXISTENCE YOU SAD SACKS OF CRAP. UNLESS YOUR DREAMS ARE HAUNTED WITH UNMENTIONABLE TERRORS THAT PUT THE YEARS OF BLOODY NIGHTMARES TO SHAME, I DON'T PITY YOU. NOT EVEN IN THE SLIGHTEST. NO ONE ELSE DOES EITHER.

IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT COMPLAINING TO THE PUBLIC (WHO ARE JUST AS TIRED AND IRRITABLE AS YOU, IF NOT MORE SO) ABOUT YOUR LITTLE PROBLEMS, DON'T. GET OVER YOURSELF. ANYONE WHO GETS THE URGE TO WHINE SHOULD IMMEDIATELY SPARE THE REST OF US THE REDUNDANCY BY INTRODUCING THEIR LOBE STEM TO A HATCHET.

TO ANSWER THOSE OF YOU CURIOUS: YES, YOU ARE GOING CRAZY. I KNOW. IT'S LIKE THERE'S A WHOLE FUCKING CITY OF ME OUT THERE.

WELCOME TO KARKAT HELL.

DESPITE EVERYTHING, I DO SYMPATHIZE WITH THOSE OF YOU WHO KNEW ONE OF THOSE THAT DISAPPEARED. I WASN'T PERSONALLY AFFILIATED TO ANY OF THEM, BUT THOUGH I'M A BATSHIT ASSHOLE, I'M NOT HEARTLESS. I HOPE YOU FIND THEM. I REALLY DO.

APPARENTLY TWO OF MY DUMPASS FRIENDS ARE ON THE CASE. IT'S LIKE TWO SEA-FARING DETECTIVES WHO APPEAR TO HAVE HAD SIMULTANEOUS BRAIN HEMORRHAGES, LEAVING BEHIND FILTH-INGESTING HUSKS THAT CAN DO NOTHING BUT PROLIFERATE THEIR OWN STUPIDITY. YES, THEY WILL NO DOUBT FIND THE MISSING.

ALSO QUESTION

IS IT JUST ME

OR IS REALITY SLOWLY TURNING INTO THAT MOVIE? YOU KNOW, "UNNAMED BLUE-BLOOD NARRATOR IS A BLAND NONENTITY THAT HAS AN UNSATISFACTORY LIFE; MONOPOLIZES ON OTHERS' MISERY IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE EMOTIONAL RELEASE; ENTERS INTO SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH EXCEPTIONALLY MORE ATTRACTIVE CLEANING ORANGE-BLOODED PRODUCT MANUFACTURER; HIS PERSONALITY IS COMPLEMENTARY TO THE PROTAGONIST'S; DIRECTOR INSERTS ATTRACTIVE CHARACTER INTO SINGLE FRAMES IN ORDER TO CREATE A SUBLIMINAL EFFECT AND THEREBY INTRODUCE THE THEME OF ALTERED PERCEPTIONS OF REALITY TO THE AUDIENCE; PROTAGONIST DOES NOT IMMEDIATELY CULL HIS MORE WORTHY COUNTERPART BUT INSTEAD ENGAGES HIM IN STAGED BATTLES; THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS THAT YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB; THE SECOND RULE IS A REITERATION OF THE FIRST AS AN EMPHASIS OF ITS IMPORTANCE; ETC..."

EXCEPT INSTEAD OF SEEING TROLL EDWARD NORTON I KEEP SEEING FLASHES OF SOME SNEERING PALE FUCKER WITH RED EYES.

GOD I HATE THAT GUY.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ notice how he doesn't say "I should bring her some" because THE LAST THING HE WANTS IS TO ENCOURAGE HER RED FEELINGS. ]

Uwahh, is that so? Perhaps I should bring her some at some point.

[red feelings are cute though karkat go bring her some gosh]

What sort of drink, then... Ah, coffee seems rather odd for someone your age, but...

[ HAVE HER CRUSH ON YOU INSTEAD OF ME is what he's hoping for. ]

Very well.

[ANNNND bringing over sandwich and some water. ;3;]

Here you are.

[ There is no proper reply but this one: ]

[you are the best]

Ah... is something the matter? [hey Japan stops smiling for now!!]

[ yes I am ]

A-ah... so that is... a face of enjoying.

[B-BOWS HIS HEAD LIKE OKAY and just... eats a sandwich too

aw yeah]

[ your nickname may change from "douchebag" to "the sandwich factory" now. is that improvement. ]

I have no trouble with that, though you may end up meeting Seifer-san if you continue to visit... [which actually, he's not sure if their arguing would be a good thing or a bad thing

OH WELL]

[ unlike America he actually swallows the food in his mouth before talking. ]

...He is a friend of mine with blonde hair and a scar. [he traces where the scar would be with his finger]

Ah, also, he is quite tall and frowns quite often! [explaining appearance explains who a person is right...]

[ rolling his eyes and going back to his sandwich. ]

...He is more human than I am, yes.

[WOW WHAT WAS THAT EYE ROLL HE WAS GETTING INTO HIS STORY TELLING]

[ yes he's bitter. Alternia is supposed to be a vast empire of ruthless conquest. WHY ARE THERE MORE HUMANS THAN TROLLS. his fury grows every day he's here. ]